It has been a very long time. Gosh. Almost a year. But I have been thinking lately and the thinking has been forming words.
I felt like I couldn’t write for a long time. First it was busy-ness. Then I didn’t really want to write. Then things were hard, in ways that I neither can, nor want to, share in any sort of public forum. And then I entered into that cycle of “well now it is just too late, since I haven’t written in so long” so I wouldn’t write and the time between would get longer and then I “couldn’t write because it had been so long” and then…here we are.
But I decided I want to write again (inspired by a retreat, some lovely writing friends, and the upcoming new year). And it doesn’t just have to be about the happy stuff and it doesn’t just have to be about the hard stuff. It just needs to be about life.
So here we are, on the cusp of 2013. I have learned a lot this year. And I thought I would word-vomit it today, and reflect a little more in depth later.
I have learned that holding someone’s hand makes me brave. I have learned that dancing around the kitchen like crazy people is one of most effective solutions to just about anything. When you have to stay awake all night, bake. Despite very intensive planning, our house will be late at least half the time (though I am working hard to decrease this percentage, one event at a time). Being late is not the end of the world. People need to hear that you love them and why you love them, often. As much as possible. All the time. Girly television shows bring people together. L’Arche is my home. I hate folding and putting away laundry. I enjoy being alone. The stickers only stick if you let them. Just take the garbage out. My little brother continues to be infinitely cooler than I am. It is okay to be angry and it is even more okay to forgive. Honey makes medicine go down smoother. There are things worth fighting for. There are things not worth fighting for. My “mom bag” purse is a black hole of preparedness. I am beloved. I share about my family all the time. Vehicle inspectors can either be really crabby or really nice. Mistakes happen. It is okay to stop and talk to strangers. Sometimes you just have to cry in the van in the parking garage. Dogs shouldn’t live in cities. People need to feel heard. It is a lovely thing to know and be known…by your Starbucks baristas. I will always need my mom. It is important to do what you can, then do what you must. Not everyone has the same definition of clean. Enthusiasm is my gift. When singing around the dinner table with my housemates, my voice magically gets better. True friends are honest. I can shave a man’s face. Being together with someone in silence is a gift. My Kiersey personality indicator has me as a “Guardian Provider”. I know how to host a party. I feel dumb every time I go to the hardware store (Dad assures me it can get better). Writing is how I express myself. Window clings spread holiday cheer. Everyone loves getting mail. God is revealed in the daily-ness of our lives. And I have so much more to learn.
The end for now. Or the beginning again? I hope to be back on here again, sooner rather than later.